Most of us have goals that we are aiming to meet, and everyone’s goal is unique to their situation but I’m sure most of us have had an experience where we didn’t get what we set out to acheive.
Not getting what we set out for can be really tough. It can be very tempting to get into a blame and shame cycle, where we either blame ourselves or sometimes others (depending on the type of goal involved). But this typically is a one way spiral into feeling worse.
When we are disappointed with ourselves it’s so easy to beat ourselves up. We can become fixated on how differently things would have turned out if even just one small aspect in our experience was different. Our “if only…” thoughts come out of the woodwork to torment us, but realistically it almost doesn’t matter what has been, as to quote Eckhart Tolle, all we have is now.
Remember you have hindsight on your side now, and its so easy to look back from where you are and judge the past you, especially now that you know how things worked out. Give yourself some slack, it’s likely that you acted in the best way you knew how to in the past.
Maybe you didn’t act in the best way you knew how, and that’s ok too as long as you can reflect on it and it’s helped to inform you of how to act going forward. I love the saying that there are no such things as failures in life, only lessons.
If you decide to try again to reach that goal here are some questions to consider for moving forward mindfully. Try writing about them in a journal or chatting them through with someone who can support you in reaching your goal.
1. If you were giving advice to a friend who had the same goal, based on your experience what advice would you give them? What would it take for you to follow your own advice? 😉
2. What does success look like with regards to your goal?
3. What would it feel like to achieve this goal?
4. How can you measure your success and how often will you do this?
5. How will you celebrate acheieving your goal? (Go into detail!)
Remember, throughout all of this be kind to yourself. No one is perfect, but don’t let that stop you from constantly aiming to grow and evolve as a person.
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