This morning I was stood at my wardrobe trying to find something to wear that would keep me cool in the sun and something that I would feel comfortable in. I found a pretty top and put it on and my usual chorus of self-haters started up in my head as I looked at myself in the mirror.
I considered wearing a looser fitting jumper but knew that I would likely overheat and be uncomfortable all day. I started panicking about how I was going to be able to go to work if I had nothing to wear (which as I write it down sounds totally ridiculous, but I’m being honest).
It was at that point that I thought the word “STOP!!!!!!” in my head. And I knew that the negative thoughts about my body and my looks were going too far.
Constant negative self-talk is not healthy, it’s not helpful and at times it can be downright harmful.
Reflecting on my behaviour over the last few weeks I’ve realized that my self-talk has deteriorated and my negative thoughts have started coming out of my mind and become how I talk about myself to others. I’m constantly complaining or apologizing for the way I look. I constantly pull on my clothes and worry about how I am coming across to others.
It’s strange because one of the things I adore most about my friends is that they are so positive and confident about themselves and their lives. So I’m interested in why I think it’s ok to constantly belittle myself and put myself down to others? Realistically I wouldn’t enjoy spending a lot of time with someone that was so negative.
I’ve not written this post for sympathy, I’ve written it as a public declaration that I’m trying to stop what has become one of my worst habits! I love being positive about others, about my work and about my passions. But for some reason, I find it a struggle when it comes to my looks, and I feel quite ashamed that it even matters so much to me. But honestly, these thoughts are exhausting and I’m committed to building my self-confidence and self-worth!
For anyone that feels this way too, take this as a sign that you are not alone and join me in trying to be kind to yourself.
I know that undoing these thought patterns won’t be easy, but I hope that the effort will be 100% worth it. I started by choosing to wear the pretty top that I picked out today, instead of a baggy jumper! 🙂
I’d love to hear your strategies for building self-confidence and if you have any habits or rituals that help you to feel good about your body and self-worth – please get in touch!
As ever, thank you for reading.
Love Chrissy x