[Mindful Mondays #13] How I Changed My Life With Self-Development, with Victoria Hockaday, a Success & Business Strategist

Hello my lovely friends! I hope you have all had a lovely Easter weekend, it has been so nice to be able to unwind with family and friends!

This week’s guest post is from Victoria, a Success & Business Strategist from London and I really love how she has turned a negative experience with a friend into an opportunity to grow as a person. I hope you enjoy it 🙂

Have you ever got to a point in your life when you have said “enough is enough”? Well, that was me two years ago. I reached a pain threshold when I decided that I was no longer going to settle in my relationships.  I was working in London and deeply unhappy in a job. I was surrounded by people that I slowly began to recognise (and admit to myself) as toxic and narcissistic. It wasn’t until I read articles about the red flags of narcissism on the internet that everything clicked. It was truth bomb after truth bomb and this was when I experienced an overwhelming sense of clarity and all the pieces of the puzzle came together. It was within a moment when I made the decision that I would create a better life for myself and that I would no longer settle for less.

I proactively attended events to meet new people and make new friends. I was introduced to self-development and my life changed. I quickly learned that to change my life, I had to change my inner world and who I was spending my time with. After reading about the law of attraction, I realised that if I wanted to change my results in life, I would need to change who I was attracting. It became clear to me that previously I was attracting negative people and experiences because I was in a low vibrational state.

Our bodies are molecular structures of massive energy and very high speed of vibration. If we have negative thoughts and beliefs we are emitting a low vibrational frequency and are attracting negative people and experiences. In my case, I was an empath, people pleaser, doormat and the perfect target for narcissistic abuse from a friend who had narcissistic personality disorder. Take that in…


Something that I only thought happened in romantic relationships or family relationships. The worst thing was, only I was aware what was going on behind closed doors. I was isolated with no one to reach out to as I knew people wouldn’t get it and if they found out they would be manipulate to think otherwise. You see, you only understand narcissism when you experience narcissism and I knew they would question me as they hadn’t experienced it themselves. My friend did everything she could to get under my skin; antagonise me, criticize me, control my relationships, invoke insecurities in me and gaslight (fabricate the story of an event to further her agenda and protect her self image).

This experience showed up a huge mirror in front of me and taught me that people treat you how you treat yourself. You attract people and experiences into your life that you are vibrationally aligned with. It is like music, the only music you can attract is the vibration that you are tuned to. I learned that if I wanted to attract positive experiences, I would need to raise my vibration. This started with doing a morning ritual every day. Each morning I would get up 1 hour earlier and do a series of activities in the space of one hour such as, exercise, meditation, affirmations, visualisation and journaling. These activities would help me to hit the refresh button every day and get me into a peak state so that I felt positive, energised and focused. Weeks after practicing my morning ritual and spending time with people who were positive, supportive and uplifting, I felt more empowered than I have ever felt before.

One year later and I still do this every morning! This morning routine is so powerful that its value and impact goes well beyond the hour itself. It breaks negative thought patterns, shapes a success mindset and gives you the emotional resilience to cope with everyday obstacles and challenges. Maxwell Maltz said that “our self-image and habits tend to go together. Change one and you will automatically change the other”. Doing the miracle morning each day rewires your brain and creates new neurological connections. It changes your self image as you develop self love, self worth and attract healthier relationships.

If we want to change our lives and the results we have, we have to to change our paradigm. Our paradigm is the multitude of habits, thoughts and beliefs that are embedded into our subconscious mind that is the product of our experiences. This paradigm influences what we attract and the results we create. Changing our paradigm starts with looking at the results we aren’t happy with and challenging our behaviours and patterns. To change our behaviour and break our patterns, we have to declutter our negative thoughts, beliefs and behaviours, and replace them with empowering beliefs and positive healthy habits. This process requires a strong desire and willingness to confront our paradigm, which many of us can find difficult as we are required to challenge our ego and painful events we have experienced.

However, the positive effects of challenging our paradigm is tenfold. When we change our thoughts and beliefs, we can attract the experiences we desire. When we are of a higher vibration we think higher of ourselves. We realise our worth and we stop spending time with people who don’t. We stop suppressing our desires as we know we are capable of more. We stop letting people walk over us like a doormat and we become assertive to set boundaries in relationships. We don’t accept people disrespecting us and most importantly, we walk away from people who don’t serve us.This has to be one of the biggest lessons I have learn’t on my journey into self-development.

What we think, we attract.

People treat us how we treat ourselves.

As a Success & Business Strategist, I am now dedicating my life to help women to change their lives through reprogramming their minds so that they can determine their hidden gifts and create a life and business they love.

A huge thank you to Victoria for this thought provoking piece. Having been feeling quite low since submitting my PhD, I am definitely going to take Victoria’s advice on board about trying to raise my vibration by trying to have a positive morning routine.

Until next week!


Chrissy x

Where to find Victoria:





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